The Rules of Dieting:

~It does not count if:

1. No one sees you eat it.
2. You eat it standing up.
3. It is free.
4. It's a special occasion or you have a valid reason to celebrate
5. You eat it in your sleep
6. It falls on the floor
7. It will make you sick to your stomach, but it's too good to resist because you'll burn off the extra calories running to the restroom anyway.

~It's diet food if:

1. Your dog will not eat it, let alone smell it.
2. It has no flavor whatsoever.
3. It holds many of the characteristics of cardboard.
4. It costs more than snack food.
5. It leaves a nasty after taste in your mouth.
6. You just can't eat another bite.
7. You'd rather starve than eat it.
8. What goes in, must come out sooner than later.

~If you have to ask for the nutritional information, you probably shouldn't eat it.